This semester definitely didn't end the way I had wanted it
to and that’s all my fault. Of course I know that old habits die hard but I feel
like I really let myself slide to the bottom during the end of the semester and
because of that my grades have suffered and I didn't reach the initial goal I set for myself at the beginning
of the semester. So you might be asking
yourself what happened to make me fall so off track, and that is, a college student’s
worst enemy, PROCRASTINATION!
I have always been bad at pacing myself and stretching projects.
In high school it worked for me, I got the good grade and I did it all in the
same night, but my luck ran out. One of my
biggest issues was just getting my assignments done on time. All the deadlines
were outlined on the course syllabus and I always just felt like I had a lot of
time to do it and then before I knew it the due date had gone by and I had
forgotten to do it. Once the due date had gone by I just felt like “what’s the point,
it’s already late?” As the semester flew by I started to notice that once I gave
myself that excuse, I started to use it again and again. At one point
procrastination turned to lazy and then I just couldn't get out of it. It’s not
that I didn't realize that what I was doing was bad and stupid but I could not
get myself motivated enough to do it. Now motivation was indeed another issue I
had this semester. My goal was to do well my first semester, which is pretty
general, simple, and superficial and that’s because I’m not really working
towards anything. I have no clue what I want to major in or what I want to do
in the future, and so I wanted to do well because I knew I should and not
because I was working towards something better or a long time goal. Being surrounded
by people who knew what they wanted and were striving for a future job or to
get into a program and here I was clueless to what I want and it just took a
toll on me and my work habit.
The fact is, to surpass this and overcome this obstacle I have
to learn to be okay with not knowing right now. I have to accept that it’s okay to be
undecided, but also realize that even if there is no further goal in front of
me right now, at one point there will be, and if I don’t do well now I could be
jeopardizing that future goal for myself. The second step to surpass this
obstacle in my college career is to just get up and do what I need to do. The
hardest part everyone says is just starting, so if I could get myself to start
then everything else will just happen. Well I mean not happen because I still
would have to make it happen but it would be easier for me do and finish the assignments
if I could just get myself started on them.
Looking at the future, for next semester I do hope that I come
closer to figuring out what I want to do in the future, but if not I want to
feel like I’m doing something useful with my time here, and that I’m not just being
a leave left to the mercy of the wind. If I can do that than I know that I can
kick my procrastination problem in the butt and do as well as I wanted to. I
want to have a successful academic career here at Southern Connecticut State
University and I’m going to make it happen this semester.
